hope

i don't like to often admit it, but many parts of being a parent are scary and selfish. we bring another human being into the world, with all it's shortcomings, and hope for the best. sometimes you wonder if it's worth it - the legacy our children will inherit. you start to understand why others never have children. you would fiercely protect your child from all harm, and yet so many things are beyond your control.

now i am more hopeful than ever. i'm not going to have to rip my family from our culture to resettle somewhere else where things are supposedly better. i truly believe that the world will look at our country differently soon. i believe that diplomacy will win out over future unknown wars. i believe that we have chosen to raise our son within a country whose values are compatible with our own. i don't fear the future so much now. and i am proud to have done my part to bring about this change.

thanks, mr. obama.

we're all in this together

arriving home last night from a quick visit to my family in salina, i hopped on my support group's message board to catch up on the last 24 hours. one of the moms in our group has a son struggling to learn to breastfeed and gain weight. she has 4 other kiddos that need her, too. her son is too little for the baby carriers she has, and she isn't making enough milk since baby isn't nursing well. i stopped by friday to give her carriers to try from missy and me. another mom dropped a different style off yesterday. many moms are pulling out their pumps so they can donate milk, while other working moms are donating from their frozen stockpiles for their own babies.

this mom is working so hard to give her baby what he needs. i am humbled by the love our group shows each other. i am also saddened to think of other mothers in our community that may have similar struggles, but do not have the support that we do. i am so grateful to be part of such a wonderful group of people.

critical mass

last night we joined up with a group of cyclists and rode all around topeka - on the "real" streets. the group is critical mass, and everyone was super cool. missy's fiance partakes on these friday night rides often, and we thought we would have fun, too. luckily, liam is a really easy going kid and didn't have any issues being in his trailer for 45 minutes straight. if only the car was this easy...

you take the good, you take the bad....

last thursday, as i walked missy and mimi out to their bike, i discovered that ours were missing. mine and liam's, colin's, and one we borrowed from nikki and scotty. grrr! what an awful feeling! i made the police report, and called the nearby pawn shops and out to boyle's. no luck. that was our preferred method of transportation. it's just stuff, but it made us feel pretty violated. we are getting a security system (colin wants this yesterday...) if you have any company suggestions, please let me know.

luckily, we have renter's insurance. our deductible is the cost of my trike alone, so we filed a claim. we had the money to go ahead and replace them, so we went shopping on saturday at capp's. i tested many bikes and fell in love with this one. it's really light weight, and pulling liam's new trailer is a piece of cake! colin picked out a new bike as well, and he finds it very comfortable. we've decided that the theft has turned out to be a wonderful event. we still don't know what our compensation will be with our insurance, but whatever it is, it's worth it. we didn't know how good it could be! yes, i loved our trike. it made me feel very safe, and liam was so little when i got it, i couldn't have handled him being so far away. as others might say, everything happens for a reason. me, i think things just happen, and then you have to choose how you react to those things.

we went on a ride to sonja's house tuesday evening, and passed another cyclist. he flagged us down and informed us that in order to keep liam safe, i needed to wear a reflective vest. he then took his off and gave it to me. it was very humbling, and made me feel wonderful that a stranger would care so much about another person. i thanked him and put it on. it made me feel safer! i hope our paths cross again. he happened to be deaf, and i wished i would have signed "thank you". but i didn't. maybe next time.

today our pediatrician called to inform us that liam's lead level is 8.5. once it reaches 10, an inspector from the state comes to your house because your child is at risk for developmental issues. sucky. i think it's coming from the windows in our house. so i get to wipe down the sills, mop, and vacuum daily. we're also going to wash all of our draperies and replace our mini-blinds. i need to wash his little hands before eating and sleeping. then liam gets his blood drawn again in six months. luckily, we'll still be nursing then, so it will be a piece of cake. hopefully his levels will be lower by then. if not, i guess we'll look into moving...i don't know what else to do!

liam is walking nearly all the time now. we officially have a toddler! he has the greatest grin, and is still a very joyful kid. i feel that the strong-willed changes of toddlerhood are just around the corner, so i'm trying to enjoy this easy time while we have it.

party = success!

i had a lot of help, so it's not really surprising that everything went well. thanks to everyone, especially mandy, mom, and missy. i couldn't have done it without your cooking, decorating, and/or baby wrangling skills.

liam's caterpillar smash cake

liam got some great toys and clothes. i was worried about his winter wardrobe, but not anymore! aside from all the new goodies, he also received a bunch of clothes from hunter. yay for hand-me-downs!

the weather was a little rainy, and although our home is small, some borrowed chairs was all we needed to make everyone comfortable.

cozy house full of guests

liam was feeling unsure about opening presents, so marie showed him how instead. zeven and noah enjoyed playing with all the toys, and there weren't any fits for such a busy time. liam loved his carrot cake 'beetle' (it was supposed to be a littler caterpillar)



i ate so much cake during the decorating that i skipped it during the real 'cake time'. after cake liam nursed and was out - while the party went on!

liam knocked out; missy: maker of many faces

all in all, i couldn't have asked for a better first year celebration. i am grateful to all of my wonderful friends and family who were able to be here with us. so, again, thanks :)

happy birthday, baby liam!

we have had more of a week long celebration in honor of that guy's special day, as opposed to a single day's observance. the culmination will be pretty big party on saturday morning. we are very loved, and so is liam. we only invited the important people in our life, but still ended up with 20+ guests. i am really nervous, since our house is so little and it's supposed to rain...we are planning on being outdoors. but, whatever; we will make it work!

colin didn't have to work on monday, so he decided to be all photo-journalistic and take photos of a typical liam day. i hope to have them up on flickr soon as a slide show. they turned out great!

yesterday was liam's birthday and we spent it with our friends missy and marie, and nikki and zeven. we all met at missy's house (she has the coffee and the space) and i cooked a late breakfast of whole wheat pancakes and eggs. yum! colin worked a half day and got off in time to eat as well.

i spent afternoon nap time sorting all the 'baby' toys out and organizing liam's books. we also got our new fridge delivered during said nap, so that was convenient. our old one was having issues, and our landlord, jerry, is awesome. requesting the fridge has inspired missy to ask her landlord for carpet. i hope they get it! we went to 'the globe' for some tasty indian food, then picked up a movie (smart people) which ended up being pretty good. the last movie we watched before this was the new x-files movie. IT SUCKED. colin downloaded it because everyone else was. well, everyone else was wrong. it made me think that the tv show could possibly be awful as well, although i utterly enjoyed it when i was in high school.

tomorrow grammie kate, aunt mandy, cousin stephen, and uncle kyle are all coming to town to see their favorite one year old! better get to bed so i can wake up early and clean my house. O_0

what a quick month!

time has been flying lately. here we are, the last day of august, with a ton to report.

first, i got a new camera! here are some really cute photos of liam being naked at missy's house:


liam's second tooth came through. this time, it was in the right spot (his first lower left). both are on the left side of his mouth. he knows they are there - it's pretty entertaining to watch him gnaw on cantaloupe, watermelon and strawberries.

finally, photos of liam on our bike!

colin and i went on our first real date. our friends, angela and stacey, invited us to the local improv comedy troupe, "laughing matters", at the topeka civic theatre. this place is so cool - it's a dinner theater, complete with a full bar and wait staff. we knocked a few beers back while liam stayed with missy and marie. he missed me, and was a bit clingy the next day, but is very comfortable with missy and didn't cry once. i'm glad he has someone besides us that he has learned to trust.

here is a link to a letter i wrote to the editor of lawrence's newspaper. the comments are really entertaining. "wifemotherslave" is my good friend, evie.

speaking of evie, i made a mistake this week, and it hurt her feelings. i invited her and my aunt and uncle, who adopted her son 13 years ago, to liam's first birthday party. i was just so excited that she and her family are near for the first time in years, and i didn't put it all together. it isn't the right time or place for this meeting to happen, so evie is no longer coming to liam's party. it's best for all involved, although i know she would love to see chris in person. she is one of my heroes. it takes an incredible person to put a child's needs above their own and pursue adoption. someday, sweetie. i'm sorry i hurt you by not thinking this through.

today colin and i participated in the labor day program at fellowship. colin played a few of the songs, and i talked about being a homemaker. other members talked about being a writer and teacher, finding your career path as a single mother, our good friend vicki spoke about her daughter's grand adventure in the peace corps in paraguay, and our friend kate spoke about her lifetime of work up to her current age of 80 in december. i received many compliments on my piece; that it was great to hear that being at home is a choice anyone can make, that they stayed home themselves, and that many wished they weren't watching their own children struggle and burn out by trying to "do it all." this is definitely the life for me!
the second service was recorded, so go here and look up the august 31st program if you want to hear it yourself.

other liam updates:

new words: moo, uh-oh, wah-wah, tee (for tree), and he makes this hilarious frustration scream

he loves his friend marie. here's a picture her mom, missy, drew of them:
here's what they look like when grocery shopping:



he loves his friend, zeven:


he has been able to give kisses for a long time. he stretches his neck out like a turtle, makes his lips flat and wide and then opens them with a 'muah!'

he picks up his shoes and puts them on top of his feet. when he puts anything else on his feet (like a washcloth) he cracks himself up. we have video of this.

he plays 'night night' by going into our room and laying down on his blanket on the floor. it's real cute.

he does 'farm dancing' - we also have video for this.

he's really into the color red. this was first reported by missy's friend, michaela, who watched liam and marie while we all rode our bikes to the goose for some beer. sometimes it takes fresh eyes to see things, and she's right. he will point to all things red. maybe it's because his mom is an aries. ;)

he took his first steps on august 25th, showing off for aunt hez while she was visiting. the first steps were to reach his target dog, the second ones were to get a PBR can. i don't know where he gets this.

he makes motor sounds for cars while he's playing. no one taught him this. he also adores jewelry of all sorts and put my head bands on like necklaces.

he rolls all over truck, especially when naked. we try to tell him that this hurts truck, but truck takes it like a man.

here's liam and jay:

and liam and daddy:

that's all for now. i have some more photos to post, but it's time for this muffin to go to bed!